MEGAN FERRARO
When Strength Is Your Only Option
As a company focused on making the best products for our military and beyond, it is our honor be supportive of any kind of military service, especially the service of a military spouse.
We would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to a military spouse we are fortunate enough to call our friend, Megan Ferraro. Megan lives in San Diego with her husband and young son. She enjoys a very active life as a working mom and on occasion, a single mother while her husband deploys. Megan was kind enough to share her perspective on the incredibly important role of a military spouse and why she wouldn’t trade it for the world.
LW: First of all, we would like to thank you for sharing a glimpse into what it is like to be a military spouse. We know it isn’t an easy job and we honor you and your husband with utmost respect and your service to our country. Can you begin by telling us what it was like when you realized you could be or would be a military spouse? What went through your mind and what sort of emotions came with that thought process?
MF: Back in my ‘dating’ days, I said I would NEVER date/marry someone in the military, for the simple fact that they leave you for extended periods of time! Who would want that? LOL. Jason was just too great of a guy to pass up I guess. I knew that it would be tough to be a military spouse and have him leave, especially when we had kids. It made me sad to think that he would leave, but also made me happy knowing that he was going to come back home to ME! There is a quote I like, “Loving a military man is not hard. The distance is hard, the worry is hard, the sacrifices are hard. But loving him, that’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
LW: Do you come from a family with service in their background? If not, what experiences did you have prior to joining the military community that helped prep you for this unique lifestyle?
MF: No, I do not have a family military background. However, I lived in Norfolk, VA up until I moved to San Diego two years ago, which is also a huge military community. I knew so many people whose parents were military and close friends who married military men as well. My sister’s husband is in the military and he deployed while they were dating, and I lived with my sister at that time, so I kind of experienced that deployment with her. Of course that doesn’t fully prepare you for your own husband leaving, but it certainly clued me in on what emotions and things to expect.
We would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to a military spouse we are fortunate enough to call our friend, Megan Ferraro. Megan lives in San Diego with her husband and young son. She enjoys a very active life as a working mom and on occasion, a single mother while her husband deploys. Megan was kind enough to share her perspective on the incredibly important role of a military spouse and why she wouldn’t trade it for the world.
LW: First of all, we would like to thank you for sharing a glimpse into what it is like to be a military spouse. We know it isn’t an easy job and we honor you and your husband with utmost respect and your service to our country. Can you begin by telling us what it was like when you realized you could be or would be a military spouse? What went through your mind and what sort of emotions came with that thought process?
MF: Back in my ‘dating’ days, I said I would NEVER date/marry someone in the military, for the simple fact that they leave you for extended periods of time! Who would want that? LOL. Jason was just too great of a guy to pass up I guess. I knew that it would be tough to be a military spouse and have him leave, especially when we had kids. It made me sad to think that he would leave, but also made me happy knowing that he was going to come back home to ME! There is a quote I like, “Loving a military man is not hard. The distance is hard, the worry is hard, the sacrifices are hard. But loving him, that’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
LW: Do you come from a family with service in their background? If not, what experiences did you have prior to joining the military community that helped prep you for this unique lifestyle?
MF: No, I do not have a family military background. However, I lived in Norfolk, VA up until I moved to San Diego two years ago, which is also a huge military community. I knew so many people whose parents were military and close friends who married military men as well. My sister’s husband is in the military and he deployed while they were dating, and I lived with my sister at that time, so I kind of experienced that deployment with her. Of course that doesn’t fully prepare you for your own husband leaving, but it certainly clued me in on what emotions and things to expect.
LW: We believe that military spouses are the unsung heroes of this world. Do you agree? Why or why not?
MF: It definitely takes a strong individual, mentally, to be a military spouse. A lot of us have been moved away from friends and family, so your support systems are often limited. You are left with almost 100% of the responsibilities of your household; your normal responsibilities, plus what your spouse would have done if they were home. It’s physically and mentally exhausting.
LW: Do you believe the average civilian has a good grasp on what being a military spouse entails or do they carry misconceptions about the lifestyle? What are some misconceptions you’ve heard about being a military spouse?
MF: I don’t think the average civilian could grasp it, I know I didn’t until I was living it. I’ve heard a lot of people say that military families are given everything for free. Yes, there are great benefits for us, but the service member and their families sacrifice a lot to have those things.
LW: In what ways has your community -- military or otherwise -- supported you through deployments and other military challenges?
MF: My friends and people from my CrossFit gym have really stepped up to help me out. Jason and I have a one-year-old son, Hunter. Raising Hunter on my own while Jason is gone is pretty tiring. Rewarding, but tiring. My friends know this and have offered to help out with him and they are so good at watching after him at the gym so I can get a bit of a workout in. It’s nice to have good friends in the community to have coffee with and talk about my struggles of being alone right now, or just to be able to have an adult conversation with since most of my 24 hours in a day is spent with a toddler.
LW: After having spoken to other military spouses, we’ve gathered that sometimes, you may feel alone in your journey. Does it at times feel like a silent struggle? How do you cope when times get lonely?
MF: Some days are definitely harder than others. For me, I don’t like complaining about my situation, so some days it feels like a silent struggle you could say. When I am lonely I can always call my friends and I like to skype with my family from the East Coast. Luckily, I do get to talk to Jason quite a bit, so that helps. I also have Hunter, so I am never really alone, most days not even to use the bathroom.
I have also taken on the volunteer role as one of the Command Ombudsman for Jason’s detachment. An Ombudsman is a liaison between the command families and the command. I am there to answer any questions they have about the deployment and to give out information and resources that may be of use to them. Taking on this role has let me be a help for other military spouses when they are in need, and in turn helps me in dealing with my own feelings about deployment. Knowing that I am not alone in my concerns and situation makes it a little bit better.
LW: What would you say your biggest challenge is, and what are your favorite ways to deal with those challenges?
MF: My biggest challenge has just been missing my husband. I miss seeing his face every day and that physical connection of him being home. It’s also hard to see him missing our son grow up. He missed him start crawling, walking, and just developing into this little human with his own personality. Luckily, we have Skype and he can watch him do those things and also Hunter can see his dad on the screen and hopefully make the connection when we see him again. Of course, I take TONS of pictures to send him too!
LW: What is your favorite part about being a military spouse?
MF: Being a part of something bigger than myself and knowing that my husband is out there being selfless and fighting for our country’s freedom.
LW: Another question military spouses are often asked is, “How do you do it?” In reference to deployments, how would you answer that question? Where do you find your strength and motivation?
MF: I get asked this all the time! My response, “You just do it.” You have to, you have no other choice. If I don’t get things done, there is no one else here to do it for me. My motivation is my son, to show him how to be strong and set a good example for him. My other big motivation is my husband; I don’t want to let him down. He’s counting on me to hold down the fort while he’s gone. He’s taking time away from his family, missing huge moments in his son’s life, to fight for our country. So to me, I have the easy job, getting to be here with my son to witness all these cool things he’s learning; so all of the extra stuff I have to do doesn’t seem so bad.
LW: What advice would you give to other military spouses who are new members of the military community?
MF: Deployments aren’t easy; no one will tell you they are. You just have to get in the groove of a good routine, learn how to fit everything in. You also have to set realistic expectations of what the priorities are, or else you will just get overwhelmed. It also helps to focus on something, whether it be picking up a new hobby, volunteering, or working out more – to take your mind off your spouse being gone.
LW: Please add anything else you would like to share. Thank you for taking the time to share your insight and we wish you and your husband well throughout your military endeavors!
MF: Thanks to LALO for following Jason and I on our deployment journey! It’s not an easy one, but it only makes us stronger in the end.